This Is Falling In Love In the Cruelest Way
by When In Doubt Smile
Summary: Some nights are harder than others for Colleen Wing. Some nights abandonment seems to be her lot in life. Until maybe it's not.


So I wrote something and that's a miracle above all other miracles. Title is from "Come Back... Be Here" by Taylor Swift. This story is 90% thanks to the-wingway on Tumblr who talked with me about all of these ideas and then was kind enough to take time out of her Friday to help me edit it. So, thank you to her. And thank you for reading this.

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Some days are a feat to get through and March 24th is always a hard one for Colleen. The day brings back too many memories of a small funeral in Japan, a black dress soaked through with rainwater, and an obituary with her grandfather's favorite saying printed in bold, black ink. Before she could at least take comfort in the knowledge that at least the loss of her grandfather had led to Bakuto and her new family and purpose within the Hand. Not this year. This year March 24th seems to mock her and all the progress she's worked to make. She's hung up her katana and she and Danny are almost done with the plans to remodel the dojo. She's put in the blood, sweat, and tears that she needed to to move past Bakuto and the betrayal that ripped her life in two, but all that progress seems like a joke at 4:16 in the morning on March 24th as she sits alone at the table with a deep-seated fear beginning to bare its ugly head.

 _Abandoned_ , Colleen's heart seems to say with every beat. She hadn't gone to sleep, planning instead to stay up until Danny came home like she usually did. Midnight had passed with only a slight twinge of pain as the 24th had rolled around, but she'd been able to turn back to the immigration papers she was determined to finish. She had finished those around 2:00 and she put the kettle on the stove so that she and Danny could have tea when he got home any moment. 3:00 had seen her pacing the small apartment, the water in the kettle cold. By 3:30 she was nearing panic. _Where was he?_ _Had he been hurt? No, he was good. He knew what he was doing. He would have called if he was hurt. Unless it was really bad. No, he was fine._

She had calmed herself down by 3:50. But as the clock had neared 4:00 and then crept past it her heart started beating it's familiar refrain: _He's never been out this late. He's gone. You're alone. No one has ever wanted you. Happiness fades and people leave. You mother left. Your father gave you up. Your grandmother isn't here. Your grandfather died. Bakuto never cared. Why should Danny be any different?_

Those are the thoughts that she snaps out of at 4:16 when she hears the key being inserted into the apartment door's lock and Danny steps in, slightly bruised but completely fine. Danny- kind, loving Danny- looks exhausted and Colleen knows it's a losing battle as she tries to fight back the tears that are brimming in her eyes. It's stupid to cry out of relief or at least that's what Colleen has always thought, but the sight of Danny standing in the doorway, taking off his shoes, alive and _here_ is enough to make dam that has kept her from sobbing since midnight break. The tears are coming before she can stop them and Colleen finds herself frantically trying to turn the stove back on, to get the water hot, to make tea, to find some semblance of normalcy so she can distance herself from this weak girl who cries on the anniversary of her grandfather's death because her boyfriend showed up a couple hours later than he normally did.

But, thankfully (or perhaps not), Danny knows her well enough to tell that something is off. Maybe one day Colleen will ask what the tip off is. Is it the way her shoulders curl in? Does the gait of her steps change? Is it some mystical superpower he learned surrounded by robed monks in a strange city? (It's the fact that he loves her and so he makes it a priority to learn her, but he'll never tell her that.)

His voice is soft as he wraps his arms around her middle and rests his chin on her right shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she mumbles, pouring steaming water into two identical cups and turning slightly to grab the tea bags. "Just tired."

Danny is silent for a second before letting her go so she can put the box of tea back in the cupboard. It took a while to realize but he knows that more often than not questions will shut Colleen down, but sometimes, if she really wants to share what's on her mind, sitting silently will get her to open up. So he takes his cup and follows Colleen as she goes to sit on the bed. They sit there in silence, arms just barely touching, for what feels like forever. The tea bags have colored the water in their cups and the drink is nearly cool enough for them to drink it when Colleen sits up straighter and looks down at her hands.

"My grandfather died today," Colleen murmurs, looking down at her hands.

"Well, obviously not today, but it's the anniversary. And it's just hard. He's the one to trained me and I am grateful for that. That training is precious and something I am proud of but…" Colleen's deep inhale and pause fills the room for a moment.

"But because of that training and because he died, Bakuto took an interest in me. I love my grandfather but he's died and that is the reason I ended up with Bakuto. And then Bakuto… Bakuto turned out to be lying and I just am so tired." Silence fills the room for a half a moment as Colleen releases her shaky breathes and Danny fights the urge to reach out and comfort her. It's taken some time but he's learning that sometimes physical touch isn't the way to fix things for Colleen, but the urge to touch her is at war with that knowledge and he doesn't quite know which will win out.

" I can't survive another person leaving me but I feel like that's all that has ever happened and will ever happen and what if I'm just doomed to be alone and-" Colleen stops, stand abruptly, and moves to step away before Danny catches her arm.

His blue eyes are kind and full of concern as he whispers, "Hey. Come here." Colleen's eyes flutter closed and she lets out a small breath before letting him gently pull her back down on the edge of the bed. He lets her go, but only for a moment as he takes her cup and sets it on the ground next to his before turning to face her on the bed, both legs curled up and each of his hands holding one of hers.

"Hey, look at me," his voice is quiet and imploring as he gently turns Colleen's face towards his. He tries so hard to say all the words he can't seem to formulate into sentences with his eyes as all that slips out is, "I'm not leaving."

Colleen had thought the dam that had kept her from crying had broken when Danny came in the apartment. She was wrong. That had been a crack in the foundation, but this? This is a flood. The tears start before she can stop them and in a second her face is wet and her breaths are unsteady and it feels like her entire world is collapsing in on itself.

"I thought you had left, Danny. When you didn't come back when you normally do. It was stupid and I hate myself for it but I thought you had left. Everyone leaves, Danny. Everyone. My mom, my dad, my grandparents, Bakuto, everyone. What do I have to do; who do I have to be to get people to stay? I always thought that maybe if I were just that much more disciplined, just a bit smarter, just a little better in training that maybe people would think I was worth staying for. But I never am. And now you're here and I thought you had left. I think I love you and I thought you had left just like everyone else and I don't want you to leave. I just want someone to decide to stay for me."

That particular night Danny had been punched no less than 14 times and not a single one had hurt a fraction as much as the words seemingly falling out of Colleen's mouth did. He imagined that perhaps what he was feeling was something similar to how people felt when he punched with the Iron Fist. The ground could have opened up right below them and swallowed them whole and Danny truly thinks that he might not have noticed. Colleen's words are flying through his head at the speed of light ( _Everyone leaves. I thought you left. I want someone to stay. I think I love you. I think I love you. I think I love you._ ) and he can't seem to make his brain formulate anything to say. And he should say something. Right? Instead, in a moment that feels a bit like a miracle to Danny as he works to process everything that Colleen has just shared, his body takes over. One of the biggest changes between living with his parents and K'un Lun had been physical touch. His parents hugged him, kissed him, held his hands like it was the most natural thing in the world. K'un Lun didn't have that same attitude towards comforting contact but Danny had worked to keep that instinct that his parents had given him during the decade they had together. And with a tearful Colleen beside him and a whirlwind of thoughts in his head, Danny's instincts take over. One arm goes around her shoulders, his other hand gently pushing her head to rest on his shoulder before taking her hand in his own. And for a what feels like a long while, that alone is enough. Colleen's tears slow, their heart beats return to normal, Danny feels that he finally understands.

"You thought I'd left because you weren't enough?"

He can't see her head move, but Danny feels her nod against his shoulder.

"Colleen, I don't think you realize how incapable I am of leaving you. I think it'd be like cutting my arm off. I am never, ever leaving you," Danny turns slightly, bending his head so that he can look her in the eyes. "We're forever, you and I. There is no going back from this. Leaving you hasn't been an option for a very long time. I promise. Do you trust me when I say that I'm not leaving?"

Colleen straightens up, looks him right in the eye, and smiles. But deep inside she knows that no matter how much Danny promises that they'll be them forever, such promises can't always be kept. Her mom promised she'd be there for Colleen for forever and that wasn't true. Bakuto said he and the Hand would be part of her life until she died and he had stabbed her in the back. He dad was supposed to be a constant presence and he had passed her off to her grandfather without a thought. Deep down, she knows that Danny believes every word he says, but a deeper part of her knows that sometimes people change and sometimes those changes bring broken promises. But for now she gives him a small smile and nods, confirming her that she trusts him (and giving him another small piece of her heart and praying to any diety that may exist that he won't break it).

The tiny smile Colleen gives Danny is perhaps the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. She looks exhausted and her eyes are red and he wishes she never felt this heartbroken but he thinks that perhaps this is the most beautiful she's ever been. They've known each other for a little under a year now and he knows how hard it is for Colleen to open up. This, this confession of fear, is a sign of trust. She trusts him not to leave and to not share her fears with others. And, truth be told, he'd give up the Iron Fist in an instant to always feel this close to her. He'd fight a dragon every single day if it meant that she didn't have to feel sad or scared or abandoned.

Once, when he was very young, his father told him about how he felt about Danny's mother. His father, a man who seemed a thousand feet tall to young Danny and made him feel safer than anyone else, had promised that one day Danny would find someone who he would gladly give his heart and soul to. Now, here, more than 15 years later, Danny finally knew what his father meant. And maybe, just maybe, if he gave Colleen enough of his soul she might start to be able to love herself the way he loved her. Until then…

"Did you say you loved me?"

Colleen let out a sharp laugh, looking up at the ceiling. "Of course you'd catch that. Why can't you be like other guys and not actually listen to me?"

"But then I'd miss these chances to tell you that I love you too." Colleen's eyes snapped back down to his instantly. "I meant what I said, Colleen. We're forever. We are bonded whether you like it or not and that means that I love you." The harsh laugh that had escaped Colleen only moments earlier turns into a lighter, more loving sound now, a small, relieved sound that makes Danny's heart sing. She touches his face before leaning in for a kiss. His hand runs through her hair as they pull apart.

"Forever?" Colleen whispers.

Danny nods, "Yeah."

"That sounds perfect," the two people close the gap between them once again as lips meet lips and hands meet cheeks and breathes are shared between two people, each of whom firmly holds the other's heart in their hands. As night turns to morning and 4:00 turns to 5:00 there's a sense that maybe it doesn't have to hurt to fall in love.


End file.
